It’s time for Tiana to get a new couch. My back is killing me. This is not how a man is supposed to sleep. But I’d rather spend the next five minutes cracking my back then being at home trying to fight the urge to knock Ashley’s teeth out. She really knows how to piss me off. Ashley will keep nagging me and nagging me about a subject until my blood begins to boil. I should have known that me and her were going to have problems from the start. Of all the weird places I could have met Ashley, I met her in a sex store. I was browsing the store looking for a tongue vibrator that I had planned on using on my girlfriend at that time. As I was looking I heard a feminine voice behind me say, “Try that one. She’ll love it.” I turned around, hoping some 6’5” nigga wasn’t behind me, and saw this brown stallion standing before me. Ashley was dressed business casual but still managed to have sex appeal. Her hair was short and spiky. She had on designer eyeglasses and was showing just enough cleavage to make my mind wonder. The pumps she had on had her ass sitting just right, too. When I was looking her over not once did she shift around or act as if I was making her uncomfortable. When I made eye contact with her all I saw was confidence and a calm sensuality. I asked her, “And how would you know?” She proceeded to tell me that her name was Dr. Ashley Jones and she was a therapist. She also said that she specializes in sex toys and how they can add to, as she put it, “sexual intercourse” and the dangers they might cause. We talked for a while and she gave me her card and told me to call her if I ever needed the kind of help she offers. Time moved on and the girl that I was talking to was beginning to bore me in the bedroom, so I called “Dr. Jones” up. After a year, some failed therapy sessions, and a ball draining affair I’m stuck with Ashley. I hate to say stuck but that’s how I feel now. Ashley is seven years older than me. When I ran into her in the sex store she was 32 going on 25. We’ve been talking for three years now and at Ashley’s ripe age of 36 she has begun to let herself go. We moved in together and the mask came off. Goodbye sex appeal, morning blow jobs, a banging body, and hello to, “Oh, I’m too tired”, “I don’t have the time to work out anymore”, and “Why do I have to dress up all the time.” Why? Because that’s who I fell in love with. I was intrigued by a sassy, sexy, intelligent, and vibrant woman. Not this fat, dry, annoying bitch who doesn’t want to do anything anymore. I’m trying to stick with her because she was once wife material but I don’t know. I hate when females act one way when you first meet them and then months later you wake up with a beast lying beside you. And they actually expect you to still have the same feelings for them. True enough, I cheated on her about six months ago but I apologized, I realized it wasn’t worth disrespecting her, and she said that everything was forgotten. Bullshit! Every time a bitch passes by Ashley begins psychoanalyzing how I want them. If I wanted to screw them trust me I would. And this shit with Tiana is crazy. If she knew I was over here she probably would swear up and down that’s the reason why we don’t have sex as much anymore. The fact that she is about 40 unattractive lbs heavier or that she has a total different personality than when I met her just doesn’t seem to cross her mind. If Tiana was some woman that I just met I could see how Ashley might be angry with how much time I spend with her. But I met Tiana a year and a half before I met Ashley, and Ti has been cool with me ever since then. Plus, Tiana has a fucked up background when it comes to friends and family and I’m not about to cut her off just because my woman is insecure. This is why I cheated. I needed some release from all of this from someone who I didn’t care about. Anyway, I’m glad Tiana left already. She only has a bath and a half and I left in such a hurry last night that I didn’t take a shower. If I hurry up I’ll be able to make it to work on time. *** "Where did you go last night and why didn’t you come back home?” I don’t even know why I answered the phone, “Look, I don’t feel like getting into this shit Ashley. I’m on my way to work. We can talk about it later.” “No, we’re going to talk about this right now! Who the fuck do you think you are?” “I am tired of screaming and hollering over the same bullshit. I’m through trying to make you believe me. I told you I didn’t sleep with that girl and why her number was in my pocket. What else do you want to hear?” “I want to hear the truth! You wanna know why I don’t trust you? It’s because you leave home every time we get into an argument and don’t return and expect me to just be okay with it. I know you were not over your brother’s house because I called him, so who is she?” She bout to make me wreck my shit, “How do you know I don’t get hotel rooms? You always assume the worse. I be doing you a favor when I leave.” “Me a favor!” “Yes, you a favor. I would never knowingly hit you, but you drive me to the point of insanity. So I leave before things go too far. Look, I am trying to make this work with you, but it won’t happen without some trust between us. You said you would forgive me, so you either do just that or we can end this right now. It’s on you.” “Darrell, you know I don’t want us to end, but you don’t know how much you hurt me when you betrayed me.” “You, you, you, you! It’s all about you! Have you ever taken the time to think why I cheated on you? You know first hand that when I get frustrated with a woman I cheat on her. That’s how we met. What about your shit?” “I haven’t did anything wrong.” “You have to be fucking kidding me! How did you get your license? You spend all damn day fixing other people’s relationships and can’t solve your own damn problems. You are not the woman I started dating three years ago, and it’s not because you have matured into a better one. If you are telling me that you want to pin all of our problems on me, we’re done. End of discussion.” Ashley exhaled and was quiet for a few moments.